Game Date: Mar 10th, 2041

Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts

Team: Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts Trailblazers [ID #826]

Location: North Adams, MA (New England)

Conference: VI.22 [Division 3]

President: sparky
          [since March 25th 2021 | last seen October 12th 2024]

Coach: Larry Parrish

Arena: Amsler Campus Center

Rating: 122.15 - Overall Position: #266

Fan Mood: 117.09

Alumni Mood: 94.40

Prestige: 108

Team Notes:

• Mar 10 2041: Made the division 3 tournament field.
• Mar 02 2041: Won the VI.22 conference.
• Feb 14 2041: 3-star prospect Richard Gardner committed.
• Dec 20 2040: 4-star prospect Scotty Moran committed.
• Aug 30 2040: Demoted to conference VI.22.
• Feb 02 2040: 3-star prospect Hugh Cullen committed.
• Sep 01 2039: Damon Holloway was hired as the new assistant coach.
• Sep 01 2039: Assistant coach Noah Straus leaves to pursue head coaching opportunities.
• Sep 01 2039: Demoted to conference V.11.
• Feb 12 2039: 3-star prospect Jack Carter committed.

Record:

Wins: 36 Losses: 5 Pct: .878     Conf Wins: 27 Conf Losses: 3 Conf Pct: .900 Conf Rank: 1     Last10: 7-3 Streak: L1

Pts Ave: 86.5 - 64.5     Pts Diff: +22.0     Team Power Index: 148.1

Press Releases:

Dec 27 2040: MCLA's Parrish Can't Shake Whitman Game Inquiries - by sparky on September 18th, 2024

A 20-1 start is great for any program, but unfortunately such a record invites the query "who was the loss to?" In the case of MCLA that loss was to their arch rival, Whitman. "It's bad enough there is a school named after a creepy weirdo poet, it's worse when you lose to them," groused MCLA star Stephen Sailer.

Coach Parrish has sat before more than enough committees and tribunals answering questions from "all manner of political appointees who never even touched a basketball in their life but all of them demanding to know what happened in the Whitman game."

How on earth they lost to Whitman remains unanswered of course, but the questioning and insinuating have turned this MCLA team of nice kids into a rabid and mangey squirrel who would bite out the eye of a toddler to protect his stash of acorns.


Nov 07 2040: It's OK to be sad - by sparky on September 4th, 2024

After reeling off a string of five double digit wins, most team buses would be filled with back slaps and bonhomie, but not so in the 1997 Prevost H3-45 charged with lugging our beloved Trailblazers around the country. Sadly, the spectre of last month's horrific loss to Whitman has turned this team into a group of joyless automatons. Witness the lack of celebration yesterday, when after scoring 35 points Lanny Solberg headed back to the bench with nary a high five in sight. This may be the saddest time at MCLA since the Hot Dog Cannon Malfunction of '22.


Oct 17 2040: MCLA v Whitman: Chapter CXXXVII - "The Final Reckoning" - by sparky on August 29th, 2024

Stirring words from Coach Parrish before the HARDWOOD GAME OF ALL GAMES: MCLA V WHITMAN:

Ye unto us hath plummeted from fiery Hyperion's lair,
a gruesome ogre chucketh full with penal colony outcast;
Oh who doth have the timerity, perverted poet ?
Or how'ver one doth spell it-- temi? whatevs--
To ye unto calleth himselfith: WHIT--
man?
No, no, sad pretenders!
For doth the mighty MCL oh A
Mighty Trailblazers determineth shall trod!!!!


Oct 20 2038: North Adams Animal Shelter Issues Warning - by sparky on May 9th, 2024

Alarmed by what they see as a contemptible lack of fervor on behalf of the MCLA basketball team, the North Adams Animal Shelter has announced that if the team loses to arch rival Whitman tomorrow, all of the animals in the shelter will be put down.

"It's high time somebody lit a fire under this team's collective behind," Head Dog Euthanizer Lemuel Thubble announced.


Dec 10 2037: On the verge of CATASTROPHE - by sparky on March 29th, 2024

Having witnessed their team erase a 12 point deficit with under four minutes to play, the Amsler Center faithful resembled a pack of frothing wild dogs who'd escaped from a rogue scientist's laboratory where he'd been genetically engineering the perfect evil fighting dogs to take over the United States, but unfortunately for the scientist, who we'll call Dr. Nero, these supremely cunning and fiendish beasts betrayed him, ate him up, and were now out of the lab, and ready to pounce and rip apart anything that came across their path like a stuffed bunny. Just as the scene was reaching a horrifying climax, a ref called a two-shot foul on MCLA, and everyone went even more berzerk with rage, if such a thing is possible. Some guy named Cowen stepped to the line and missed both foul shots, which meant that all ticket holders were entitled to free Jalepeno Poppers at Guidry's Grill in downtown North Adams. Crisis averted.



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