Game Date: Jan 5th, 2045

Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts

Team: Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts Trailblazers [ID #826]

Location: North Adams, MA (New England)

Conference: III.3 [Division 1]

President: sparky
          [since March 25th 2021 | last seen May 02nd 2025]

Coach: Clint Cherry

Arena: Amsler Campus Center

Rating: 135.55 - Overall Position: #218

Fan Mood: 95.53

Alumni Mood: 102.10

Prestige: 132

Team Notes:

• Dec 17 2044: 3-star prospect Jacques Dawkins committed.
• Nov 26 2044: 3-star prospect Joe Reed committed.
• Nov 19 2044: 3-star prospect Bob Chandler committed.
• Sep 01 2044: Promoted to conference III.3.
• Jun 28 2044: Henry Armetta was drafted round #2, pick #28 by Phoenix.
• Jan 28 2044: 3-star prospect Juan Pablo De La Torre committed.
• Dec 17 2043: 4-star prospect Jermaine McLean committed.
• Jun 30 2043: Dewayne Furman was drafted round #1, pick #17 by Phoenix.
• Nov 27 2042: 3-star prospect Donnell Jarvis committed.
• Nov 19 2042: 2-star prospect Seth Johns committed.

Record:

Wins: 5 Losses: 18 Pct: .217     Conf Wins: 2 Conf Losses: 11 Conf Pct: .154 Conf Rank: 16     Last10: 1-9 Streak: L9

Pts Ave: 72.1 - 82.7     Pts Diff: -10.6     Team Power Index: 144.5

Press Releases:

Dec 31 2043: Baby's first game - by sparky on March 5th, 2025

Olga Chevinova, the girlfriend of MCLA freshman C Seth Johns, decided to take her new baby, Jermaine McLean, to his very first basketball game. The two week old, and yet already 6' 8½" McLean, who has committed to play for MCLA next year, was startled to hear the torrent of boos filling up the arena as the home squad fell behind early against Rockhurst. He kicked, screamed, and nearly got MCLA T'd up when he threw his bottle on the court. His gymnosophist mother was no match for the child's rage, and one can only wonder what might have happened had MCLA not gotten their act together and finally grabbed the lead with 3:00 in the first half. Among those most affected by this squalid scene was Cocoon Boy Moran, who noted that "the child's demonic countenance spurred me to create scoring opportunities for my teammates, lest we lose the game and incur the unimaginably horrible wrath of his vile temper!"


Dec 19 2043: we will we will rock you - by sparky on March 2nd, 2025

Three of Hardwoods most well known presidents made the long and treacherous trip to North Adams, bringing with them gifts of gold, frankincense, and recruiting contacts for the new savior of MCLA basketball, Jermaine "The Pain" McLean. The prospect, who came forth from the womb of world renown gymnosophist Olga Chevinova, and in miraculous turn of events not only grew to 6'8" before even getting out of the nursery, but also somehow qualified academically, is the biggest get in MCLA history, way bigger than current so called stars Cocoon Boy Moran and little Torey Lewis. Are you kidding me, this guy is the real deal! As soon as he finished delivering this baby, Head Coach Clint Cherry threw open the delivery room window and screamed into the night "MCLA IS NOW UNSTOPPABLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAH THERE IS A NEW TOTAL DOMINATING FRANCHISE SLASH PROGRAM TYPE THING COMING DOWN THE PIKE!!!!


Oct 21 2043: omg - by sparky on February 14th, 2025

Tragedy nearly struck the MCLA basketball team today as their flight to Walla Walla came THIS close to crashing. As the chartered 737 Lockheed 5Xa twin powered combustion prop plane approached Walla Walla, the town's thick and unrelenting smog of filth and airborne slime began to pose a serious threat to all on board. The plane began to go this way and that way, and then up and down, and everybody started freaking out. Even to the aircraft's seasoned pilot, Captain Ryland Gooddorf, owner of bronze and silver stars from 16 different wars, the odds of catastrophe were too great, and he began crying like a mid-sized infant pulled from his mother's bosom. The plane was pitched downward, racing directly to its doom, when backup PF Eric Vogel, who later revealed he used to "be really into playing FlightSimulator," raced to the cockpit and steadied the bird, before gently crashlanding it in nearby Pasco.


Dec 04 2042: December 5th, 2042, Manhattan - by sparky on January 1st, 2025

Dearest MeeMaw,
Yesterday was a most trying day for your dear grandson. The team, in an evocation of the most extreme listlessness, managed to lose to Pace by an unconscionable 58 points. Thereafter, in the locker room, my duty was to deliver a fiery excoriation so extreme in pitch, that I incurred a bloody nose! You would think such a display would galvanize the lads (aside from Cockrell, naturally), and it did, albeit it only temporarily. For one of the new recruits has brought along with him a woman of the gymnosophist variety, and she brings with her a capacity to meddle. Instead of rebuking the players for such a degrading humiliation, she has praised them for enduring it, claiming the ordeal was "a pious cleansing of the ego." Sadly, she is of such a feminine bearing that her words have great sway over them, and I worry that this will have a terrible affect on them moving forward.
Lovingly,
D'Angelo


Nov 22 2042: MCLA NIL Deal the 1st in Hardwood History to Top $1 billion - by sparky on December 29th, 2024

MCLA's blockbuster deal with the insanely handsome Canadian phenom Seth Johns sent shockwaves through Hardwood this morning. Johns, known also for his highly publicized relationship with social media sensation and champion Belarusian gymnosophist Olga Chevinova, will be donning the blue and yellow for a record breaking $1.1billion. Some MCLA insiders worry that the team's finances are already strained due to the spiraling costs of Rich Cockrell's health care. After Cockrell was run over by three steam rollers during a South Boston St. Patrick's Day parade as an infant, doctor's thought he had a less than .4% chance to live, but his unwavering determination defied all odds and eventually landed him a spot on the MCLA squad. The North Adams community has rallied behind the inspirational Cockrell, despite crude jokes made at his expense by you know who.



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